k a t i e   z a f f r a n n
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  • June7th

    “I tell my students… see what direction everyone is headed, so you can go in the opposite direction. Don’t polish the brass on the bandwagon.”

    V.S. Ramachandran, neurologist / neuroplastician

    as read in The Brain That Changes Itself

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  • June4th

    “Now there were practical things to be accomplished… But these things would be easy.
    She believed the city was so full of combinations, permutations, and possibilities that it permitted not only any desire to be fulfilled, but any course to be taken, any reward to be sought, any life to be lived, and any race to be run. She closed her eyes and saw the city burning before her in enticing gold. The sky, filled with great voluminous clouds, was ablaze in winter blue.”

    mark helprin, winter’s tale

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  • June3rd

    showing up

    Posted in: musings

    Today it was all I could do to just show up. The snooze button, my worst enemy, had me in its vice grip and my half-awake brain churned out rationalizations and guilty thoughts like oil into the Gulf of Mexico. Yes, that toxic.

    Even when I recognize Resistance so clearly, there are times I feel powerless to defeat it. (Now you know why I needed that War of Art book!) So I started small. I may not have gone to the two auditions I was planning on. But it was only 9 AM; all was not lost. I cleaned my house, sweating in the 80-degree humidity (that counts as exercise, right?) and ended up clearing my brain as well.

    I had planned, by this point, to warm up and sing some songs from the album, write about it and call it a day. But the little voice told me to get my butt to one of those auditions anyway. So I did. And got a compliment, and a callback.

    Just by showing up.

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  • June2nd

    Last night I nerded out at AWE-MAGEDDON*, a live event series put on by my favorite WNYC podcast, Radiolab. The show featured Brooklyn-based duo Buke and Gass, creating the sound of five musicians on their homemade baritone ukelele and guitar-bass hybrid — as well as robotics engineer Hod Lipson, whose work in evolutionary robotics involves creating machines that can adapt and demonstrate elements of human creativity (and take over the world…?). Nerd central!

    Professor Lipson introduced us to one of his four-legged creations that has been charged with the instruction to move forward. But this robot does not know that it is four-legged. It does not know anything about its nature, in fact; it will create a computer simulation of its sensory input as it exists in the world, and then figure out how to walk from that simulation. Lipson tells us that the robot starts by making a random motion, assessing the sensory input that it receives from that motion, and then it begins hypothesizing as to what its shape and form might be.

    Here’s where it gets interesting (as if it weren’t already). To test the hypotheses, Lipson says, the robot starts looking for “the most disagreement”. It tries movements specifically to rule out one possibility or another. It tips and tilts and tries to throw itself off its axis, because that will give it unequivocal information about what it is and what will or will not work. It looks, in other words, for failure — because that is the fastest way to learn.

    There is a lot of lipservice paid to failure — don’t we all know by now that you learn more from your failures than your successes, and everyone falls down a few times on the way to the top? But – and maybe it’s just perfectionists like me – but I don’t think too many of us go LOOKING for failure.

    I certainly hope it’s true that machines will never be able to embody the human creative spirit, our ephemeral impulses and nuances and subtleties. But maybe there is something to learn from this non-human creation, with no emotions and no attachments and no desires, and no need to have great PR.

    Because it is entirely possible that the fastest and most useful information about my nature; about what and who I am; about how to move forward… could all be found by throwing myself off the cliff and hoping for an EPIC FAIL.

    *You can watch the event webcast here!

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  • June1st

    Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Super Athletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen
    by Christopher McDougall

    I wasn’t going to blog about this one, as my running habit is rather unrelated to performance (or it appears that way at first glance).

    But I found this book to be one of the most inspirational reads I’ve had in recent memory, and it just reinforced my ever-present feeling knowledge that we really are all one, and Energy is Energy no matter how it is manifesting.

    “I never really discussed this with anyone because it sounds pretentious, but I started running ultras to become a better person,” Jenn [Shelton] told me. “I thought if you could run one hundred miles, you’d be in this Zen state. You’d be the fucking Buddha, bringing peace and a smile to the world. It didn’t work in my case — I’m the same old punk-ass as before — but there’s always the hope that it will turn you into the person you want to be, a better, more peaceful person.
    “When I’m out on a long run,” she continued, “the only thing in life that matters is finishing the run. For once, my brain isn’t going blehblehbleh all the time. Everything quiets down, and the only thing going on is pure flow. It’s just me and the movement and the motion. That’s what I love.

    As I’m making the transition to the Vibram FiveFingers barefoot shoes, I am giving myself plenty of room to play. I’ll run through the park to an empty soccer field, take off the shoes and see what it actually feels like to run, barefoot. I have no attachment to being the Best Barefoot Runner or the Fastest or the Most Graceful (though I do look forward to some modicum of improvement!) and so I don’t get upset if my feet start to hurt or if I look, quite frankly, like a total fool romping around in an empty field. I let it be whatever it is, and consequently it all becomes rather enjoyable and easy.

    Enjoying that ease so much, I am experimenting with applying these principles to my singing practice. What if I had no attachment to being a great singer or progressing in my career, or to making a pretty sound every time I opened my mouth — how much freer would I be to explore the physical and emotional range of my voice? What kinds of sounds could I make, using what natural, efficient technique? It takes constant reminding and re-focusing, but I can tell I’m on to something (hint: it’s fun).

    When I told my teacher this last week, she smiled. “Of course,” she said. “Because you are born to sing, too.”

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  • May31st

    Speaking of Little Grey Girlfriend, check out this New York Times article from Friday’s Arts section about the all-male a cappella ensemble Chanticleer — and mentioning LGG as well as my frequent collaborator Vince Peterson:

    Despite the changes, Mr. Oltman still honors Chanticleer’s past; for example, he remains passionate about Renaissance music. This week Chanticleer performs a series of concerts featuring music by 16th- and 17th-century English composers like Thomas Tallis, William Byrd and Orlando Gibbons. Mr. Oltman also intends to continue commissioning new works, especially by young composers and arrangers like Vince Peterson. He is arranging “Cells Planets,” by the New York indie rock band Little Grey Girlfriend, for the ensemble’s tour next season.

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  • May28th

    Kenneth Salters, Cameron Mizell, Erika Lloyd, Brad Whiteley

    Little Grey Girlfriend has an awesome new album out – and a new website to celebrate!

    (Did you know I moonlight as an indie band backup singer?)

    Check out the new site, buy the new album GREEN-WOOD, listen on last.fm, or follow us on Facebook.

    And stay tuned for info on the GREEN-WOOD release party, featuring the full band (including yours truly).

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  • May27th

    The challenge is this: I will blog every weekday until fly woman genius is recorded. If that goes well, I’ll keep it up until it is released. And after that… well, who knows what the world will look like?

    For awhile I’ve been stuck in this catch-22: I haven’t set a recording date for the album because I don’t have all the answers yet, but I just keep running in circles with the questions because who knows when I’ll actually record? There’s so much more research, planning and thinking about the album to be done before I actually do it.

    Or is there?

    Einstein said that The problems that face us cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them. What we need is a shift in consciousness. I still have a lot of questions: Where will the money come from? Will all the songs be done in time? Will I be vocally ready to record the sound I want? What if I don’t know what the eff I’m doing? But I’m willing to bet the solutions aren’t going to present themselves by sitting and wondering.

    The email has been sent, and the dates are being set. And everything else will fall in line.

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  • May26th

    There are two goddesses in your heart: the Goddess of Wisdom and the Goddess of Wealth. Everyone thinks they need to get wealth first, and wisdom will come. So they concern themselves with chasing money. But they have it backwards. You have to give your heart to the Goddess of Wisdom, give her all your love and attention, and the Goddess of Wealth will become jealous, and follow you.

    (as read in born to run)

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  • May18th

    The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, by Steven Pressfield

    An oft-like-minded friend, whom I would grace with a link but for his still-quite-under-construction-site, gave me his copy of this book to read. Bequeathed it, I should say. We wrote our names in the front cover, imagining this copy circling the globe, finding other similar artists in need of another perspective on ass-kicking.

    Pressfield writes in little vignettes, some barely a paragraph in length, making it perfect train reading or while-the-water’s-boiling reading and even, ironically, a perfect trap for the Resistance he writes about to set in. Look, you’ve already finished six chapters, it will say. So what if you’re only 15 pages in? It’s a good breaking point. Don’t you have some facebook to check?

    I won’t tell you how much time I’ve already spent reading Pressfield’s blog, and all the other brilliant people he links to, while instead of writing this post. *shakes fist at Resistance*

    It’s like “Die Vampire Die,” the Susan Blackwell song in [title of show]. We’re all battling the same thing. As Pressfield says, “Everyone who has a body experiences Resistance.”

    But shoot, you didn’t need me to tell you that. Since you have a body too—- you already knew it.

    What I like about his approach is that it is two-fold: first he outlines the life of the Professional, and the myriad habitual ways a Pro battles Resistance just by showing up and fighting another day. Showing up is requisite. But beyond that, he explores the Muse, the angels, the Genius (in the Roman sense) that Elizabeth Gilbert explores in this TED.com talk. (damn! where better to procrastinate than TED.com? it feels so edifying…) The greater Self, the other-worldly (perhaps) energy that flows through us and tells us we are artists in the first place. Professionals show up every day; yogis and surfers let the Spirit flow through them; but the great working artist relies on both.

    For me, one of the most cunning ways Resistance gets under my skin is via self-deprecation — but not the kind you might think. My worst Resistance is the Never Enough kind: I’m never working hard enough, going to enough auditions, singing enough, learning enough new material, keeping up on enough industry news, seeing enough theater. I could be networking more, marketing more, blogging more, being more.

    But I’m learning (and The War of Art has done much to remind me) that these thoughts are best fought by just showing up, every day, and doing even One Thing. A warm-up, an audition, a website update, a submission, an email. And then, I (am learning to) put it away, and let myself be a person.

    Last night, I went to class and busted out a new song; today I woke up before the alarm and wrote this blog post before coffee. Have I changed the world, or even changed myself? Probably not. But for now (and even now, that “now” is gone) — it’s enough.

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